Someone you love has been diagnosed with a serious mental illness–depression, bipolar disorder, schizophrenia.

Now what?

Where do you turn when you don’t know where to turn?

Here is a list of general resources to get you started:

• Your family physician or health care provider
• The Mental health division of your local health department
• A community mental health center
• An Employee Assistance Program provided through the Human Resources Department of your workplace or employer
• Child and family social services agency
• A professional counselorwho works in a mental health center, outpatient clinic, privated practice, or group practice
• Pastoral counselor or member of clergy
• Self-help or support group
• Mental health or crisis hot line, drug hot line, or suicide prevention hot line
• Hospital emergency room

If you have health insurance, call the toll-free number for member services and learn what services are covered and which providers are preferred.

When my children were most ill, I spent hours on the phone arranging for their medical care and insurance coverage. Despite the frustrations, it was worth it in the end.

Recovery is possible.

Wellness is attainable.

Research. Advocate. Pursue.

It’s worth it.

In yesterday’s blog I shared some striking statistics about childhood and adolescent depression, including the fact that left untreated it often becomes life-threatening.

Several of you wrote to say that it’s hard to know if your child is depressed or just being a kid. To help clarify, consider these 12 questions:

DOES YOUR CHILD…

1.  Often seem sad, tired, restless, or out of sorts?

2.  Spend a lot of time alone

3.  Have low self-esteem?

4.  Have trouble getting along with family, friends, and peers?

5.  Have frequent outbursts of shouting, complaining, or crying?

6.  Have trouble performing or behaving in school?

7.  Show sudden changes in eating patterns?

8.  Sleep too much or not enough?

9.  Have trouble paying attention or concentrating on tasks like homework?

10.  Seem to have lost interest in hobbies like music or sports?

11.  Show signs of using drugs and/or alcohol?

12.  Talk about death or suicide?

If you answered yes to four or more of these questions and the behaviors last longer than 2 weeks, you should seek professional help for your child. Start with an appointment with your family doctor and get a referral to a respected mental health practitioner in your community.

Don’t wait!

We’re busy. Too busy. Too much of the time.

The healthiest of organisms are compromised, made ill, when in constant, uncontrolled or outwardly controlled, motion.

We live in an age when, quite incorrectly, constant motion and activity, multi-tasking, and immediate action with little or no thought are rewarded.

These things make people sick.

Let’s stop doing them.

Go back to basics.

THINK.

Think about what you’re doing and why you’re doing it. If you cannot explain or see the benefit, then why are you doing it? Live with intention and awareness.

BREATHE.

Breathe deeply, fully, intentionally.

In with the good. Out with the bad.

Sit for five minutes–set a kitchen timer if you must–and do nothing but pay attention to your breath and all it’s nuances. Don’t analyze and think and participate in constant inner patter about it. Just be completely aware. Do this every single day.

MOVE.

Walk, swim, dance, yoga…whatever your heart desires…JUST DO IT! and pay attention. Do it with intention, for at least 30 minutes every day, no excuses.

EAT.

EAT INTENTIONALLY. EAT VERY WELL.

Fresh, lean, vital (filled with vitamins and minerals and basic body building blocks) food is all that should go into your beautiful body; and it should go in regularly and in abundance.

When you eat right, you think more clearly, you breathe more fully, you move more efficiently. You do not get fat.

Back to Basics…

Think…Breathe…Move…Eat

Easy.

***Special acknowledgement to Susan Powter***

I’ve recently received several letters and emails from parents whose kids are receiving treatment, both pharmaceutical and therapy-related, without a firm diagnosis. These concerned mothers and fathers are relieved that meds are being prescribed and that their childrens’ sometimes life-threatening symptoms are abating; but they’re left wondering and worried and wanting the bottom line.

I try to set them at ease as well as call them to action. It takes most psychiatrists a minimum of two or three visits to issue a diagnosis, and sometimes twice that many.

Since blood tests don’t identify brain disorders, and reliable imaging diagnostics are still in the development stage, doctors must rely on anecdotal information. This means they base their diagnosis on information gleaned from talking to family and observing the patient.

Mental illnesses have been documented and diagnosed for over 100 years, so a good psychiatrist will recognize hallmarks and symptoms and issue a diagnosis when he has ruled out all other possibilities.

If the process is taking too long for your liking, become proactive. Keep charts, logs or journals. If your child is old enough, she should keep her own in addition to the information you’re logging from a parent’s perspective. Note behaviors, symptoms and medication side effects.

Be aware of and document:

• sleep patterns
• moods (depression, anger, mania)
• irritability
• an increase or decrease in appetite
• changes in peer and family relationships
• variations in school performance
• feelings about herself
• suicidality or ideations
• self-injurious behavior
• hearing or seeing things that are not there
• delusions
• paranoia or heightened suspiciousness
• substance abuse

It’s also important to be aware of possible side effects of the prescribed medications so that you can recognize and document them should they occur.

A log of these particulars provides the doctor with a road map of symptoms that will lead him in the direction of an appropriate diagnosis.

If you’d like to download a printable mood chart for you and/or a loved one to fill out click here.

Every time I speak to a group, questions like these come up:

• “What can I do? He refuses to believe that he’s sick.”
• “How can I convince her to stay on her meds? As soon as she’s out of crisis, she stops taking them.”
• “Is there any way I can force him to see his doctor and take his medication?”

The frustration is palpable.

And unfortunately, it often plagues the loved ones of those diagnosed with a serious mental illness.

Why can’t they accept the reality of their illness?

Here are just a few valid reasons: (more…)

• Brilliant
• Creative
• Funny
• Innovative
• Insightful
• Successful

• Demanding
• Self-Centered
• Annoying
• Uncaring
• Dangerous
• Crazy

WHAT LINKS THESE LABELS?

Each is frequently and adamantly applied to people with bipolar disorder; and at different times, each is spot-on despite the fact that one may be diametrically opposed to another.

The bold labels identify people with whom we can have a mature, loving relationship.

The italicized are pretty hard to tolerate!

What makes the difference?

WELLNESS!

Remaining well is the key to remaining bold and not italicized.

In order to remain well, people with any serious mental illness need to take good care of themselves.

They need to:

•  Follow medication & therapy regimens
• Abstain from drugs and alcohol
• Get appropriate sleep
• Exercise DAILY
• Stick to a healthy eating plan
• Hone communication skills

Family and friends must take good care of themselves and continue to support and assist when necessary. Because we all want to spend time with the brilliant, creative, funny, innovative, insightful, and successful person we love!

I got a letter today from a mother who’s adult bipolar daughter is struggling to continue working. She wondered if it was okay to seek disability compensation.

A large percentage of people with bipolar disorder are able to work and support themselves. Many others, however, are either too compromised by their symptoms or the stresses of a workplace to fully support themselves.

THIS IS NOT A POINT OF SHAME!

It would be a shame, however, if you failed to develop your gifts and talents because they don’t fall into a category of normal work.

In the constantly changing, high-tech world, normal work (and what is that?) means even less than it has in the past. Alternative ways to be productive are yours for the taking, or even better, yours for the creating. So do it!

• Know yourself really well.
• Develop your strengths and assets.
• Identify ways to contribute your skills and talents without compromising your health.

Then do it!

Find work –whether or not you get paid–that is non stressful, rewarding and gives you a sense of independence. And if you need to collect disability, do it! That’s why it’s there.

CONSIDER THIS…

Most meds used to treat bipolar disorder and other serious mental illnesses have major, irritating side effects. 

How would you feel about taking a substance that made you: 

– FAT?

– TIRED?

– NAUSEOUS?

– PARANOID?

– FRIGHTENED?

– SUICIDAL?

– SLOW OF THOUGHT (STUPID)?

– IRRITABLE?

– ANGRY? 

Pretty distressing, isn’t it?

Yet these are the side effects most commonly reported by patients who take prescribed psychotropic drugs.

Keep this in mind when you or your loved one is inclined to go off meds, refuse treatment, or become medically noncompliant.

In an effort to prevent this, document side effects.

Keep track of what happens, when.

Share this information with the Doctor.

More information means better treatment. Other drug combinations may be more tolerable; the doctor may be able to explain the schedule on which you can expect irritating side effects to abate. At any rate, communication and a clear, unemotional presentation of the facts will make prescribed treatment and compliance more likely.

Money management skills are key to anyone’s financial well-being and long term security. Unfortunately, unrestrained spending is a common symptom during the manic phases of bipolar disorder.

My son Michael laughed one day while reminiscing about a recent credit card statement:

“I spent $231 at Wal Mart! Wal Mart! I don’t even know what I bought. I mean, what can you buy for $231 at Wal Mart that is so insignificant you can’t even remember what it was? And the Circle-K! Oh my God! When I’m manic, I totally buy out the Circle-K. Everything looks like a great deal. I just spend my money on really stupid shit!”

And so it goes.

If you or your loved one has money-management issues, take action during the stable times. Create a system of checks and balances with a supportive person that might include:

– A detailed budget plan with emergency contacts when spending seems risky

– Keeping a log of EVERY dollar spent

– Trusteeship on bank accounts

– Freezing credit cards in a cup of water so time has to pass before they’re usable

– Got a good system or suggestion? Tell me about it.

Find out what works for you and stick to the plan. Nobody wants to add financial woes to the list of problems associated with a serious mental illness.

Today on MoodTracker, a synopsis of my book, Mommy I’m Still in Here, is posted on the articles page.