Yesterday I met with a dear friend. Fifteen years ago we moved into the same neighborhood within weeks of one another, and have always shared a deep liking — sisterly love — and respect for one another.

Our children are the same age, we’re both educators, our husbands work in similar industries… we have a lot of things in common.

Unfortunately, one of those things is children with bipolar disorder and addictions.

Her daughter and my son struggle, and have for years, with addiction and an unwillingness or inability to remain medically compliant. Combined and cumulatively, we’ve spent well over $100,000 trying to save our children’s lives. We share small triumphs and agree that we’ve learned more than we ever thought possible.

My friend and I are both better people because of the experiences we’ve had with our kids. And we  are two of the most optimistic, hopeful women you’ll encounter. It’s strange to admit that the challenges and trials we’ve experienced have served us so positively, but they have.

As my friend registers her sweet daughter –I love her llike my own– for another ( is it the 6th? 7th?) residential treatment center, I encourage her.

I pray that it will “take” this time.

And I know that I would do the same.

No one else’s opinion matters.

When do you stop? Where do you draw the line?

When absolutely no options remain.

Blessings,

Kate

Tom Wootton, author of The Bipolar Advantage and The Depression Advantage,  believes, much as I do, that wellness  is achievable and a wonderful life possible, despite mental illness. Key to this wellness are accepting ‘what is’, gaining understanding and knowledge of your illness, seeking and following treatment, developing mind and social skills, and creating a plan for success.

Tom’s newly developed Advantage Program takes a team approach to addressing these key areas by offering training in several key areas and sub-categories, including:

Education:

• Bipolar In Order
• Biopsychosocial
• Life Planning
• Relationships
• Mind Skills
• Spirituality

Assessment:

• Biopsychosocial
• Medical
• Relationships & Family
• Spiritual
• Peer

Treatment:

• Psychopharmacology
• Psychotherapy
• Relationships & Family
• Mind Skills
• Spiritual Counseling
• Exercise & Nutrition
• Peer Coaching
• Anthony Robbins ™

The ultimate goal for anyone with a serious mental illness is recovery; and The Advantage Program addresses elements of recovery including true freedom, real stability, equanimity, self mastery, and deep, supportive, open and enduring relationships.

Sounds good, doesn’t it?

Check it out and let me know what you think.

The following is Julie Fast’s most recent newsletter post. As always, she’s full of  solid, practical, experience-based advice. To learn more from Julie, visit www.bipolarhappens.com

Sometimes it feels like we have become a society that rarely thinks of consequences:

- Put your entire vacation on a credit card! YOU DESERVE IT!
- If it feels good, do it! WHO CARES ABOUT TOMORROW!
- Don’t worry, be happy! ALL THAT MATTERS IS NOW!

Before I started managing this illness successfully, I was a ‘do what feels good now, think about it later’ person. And I was always sick.
Then I created the Health Cards and there it was in black and white. If I do this now, this happens later.

Then I realized the secret to staying stable when you have bipolar disorder:

Think Now, Do Later.

It’s such a simple concept and yet so hard to follow because we are exploratory creatures. For many people, doing something first
and then seeing what happens later is an exhilarating and often rewarding experience, but for those of us with bipolar disorder, this behavior often makes us sick.

Thinking now and then doing later changed my life. It took about five years for me to really make the changes needed. To be honest even today I don’t want to think first. I want to have fun! Travel! Meet hot guys! Get famous and sing all night! well….

That’s not exactly a good plan for someone who gets ill just from an argument with her brother.

Now, instead of immediately saying yes to something I try to say: ‘Let me think about it and maybe I can do it later.’

The Think Now, Do Later model basically works for anything that may make you sick. And for those of you who care about someone with the illness, this can be a great conversation topic. If they won’t or can’t listen, then you can follow the principle yourself as an example.

If you have a decision to make in the next few weeks, especially one that involves work or relationships, ask yourself this question:

If I do this now, what will happen later?

You can then make a realistic ‘bipolar disorder healthy’ decision based on your answer.

Julie

I hope you have a treatment system/plan in place.  A treatment plan is the best way to practice this “secret” so you can be sure you’re making healthy bipolar decisions that keep the non healthy decisions to a minimum.

ABOUT THE AUTHOR: Julie A. Fast best selling author of Take Charge of Bipolar Disorder and Loving Someone with Bipolar Disorder is a critically acclaimed six-time author, award winning bipolar disorder advice columnist, national speaker, and sought after expert in the fields of bipolar disorder and depression. Julie’s work specializes in helping people manage all aspects of their daily lives -despite the complications that bipolar disorder creates. To learn how to personalize a plan to help yourself or a loved one find and create stability that ensures the quality of life that we all deserve, visit: BipolarHappens

[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EiiNAn9lLUg]

Tom Wootton is leading the way toward a better life for millions. His Advantage Program identifies the realities of serious mental illness and teaches the skills and techniques to manage those realities and achieve great success in all life’s arenas.

I look forward to joining his speaking team, teaching the important lessons, and helping people change their own lives for the better. This is exciting, life-altering stuff!

This email came from Jennifer. I’m grateful she took the time to read MOMMY I’M STILL IN HERE , and for writing to me about it. Mental illness is challenging, but with support, knowledge and understanding, we all learn so much.

All blessings to you and your sister, Jennifer!

Dear Ms. McLaughlin,

I am writing to you about the wonderful book you wrote.

I have a sister who might have Bipolar Disorder. I won’t say anything more about her, due to her privacy concerns.

I hope that Chloe is doing better and, her brother and sister are doing great.

I am writing to you also about the courage that you had toward your children.

I just graduated from high school in May. I am from Iowa.

I am going to Kirkwood Community College to get a degree in Psychology and possibly Nursing.

I believe that God can do many things to people for a reason, and that people have the ability to take care of them.

Jennifer ____

For years, my daughter Chloe and I have kept track of her moods, symptoms and behaviors.

First diagnosed with bipolar disorder at age 17, Chloe was too sick for too long to chart this information for herself. Her doctor offered us tools created by DBSA to log the numerous pertinent facts associated with her illness and its treatment,  and we quickly learned the value of recognizing and understanding details of the illness.

After a time, Chloe became totally responsible for this record-keeping and now, at age 26, is aware of and diligent in logging sleep patterns, moods, diet, medication side effects, interpersonal relationships, anxiety levels, paranoia, irritability, etc. She  recognizes a decline coming before it gets too far along and communicates well with her health-care providers. Her self-validation keeps her well.

Recently, German researchers confirmed what we already knew to be true… (more…)

New research coming out of Barcelona, Spain has verified proven methods that help patients with bipolar disorder remain stable.

In addition to the usual medical and psycho-social treatment methods, education of families and loved ones has a significant positive impact on the wellness and stability of those with bipolar disorder. (more…)

Stephen Propst of DBSA (Depression Bipolar Support Alliance) shares the keys to his personal recovery and prolonged wellness:

• Live day by day. Take things one step at a time.
• Learn something new every day. Knowledge is empowering.
• Laugh several times a day. There’s no better medicine.
• Lean on others if it’s a tough day. None of us can go it alone.

Couldn’t have said it better myself, Stephen.

Thanks for sharing and letting me share!

Kate

Click here to read the cover story for the most recent edition of Anchor Magazine, featuring Keith Anderson. A great read with lots of insight and honesty.