Be Happy!

Happiness.

You want it?

All you have to do is be grateful, and then write about it.

Sound simple?

It is!

Read the proof in this November 27, 2008 Science Daily article:
Want to quickly improve your happiness and satisfaction with life? Then the pen may be a mighty weapon, according to research done by Kent State University’s Dr. Steven Toepfer.

Toepfer, an assistant professor of family and consumer studies at university’s Salem Campus, says that expressive writing is something that has been available to mankind since ink first appeared in Egypt more than 4,000 years ago.

“Everyone is pursuing the American dream. We are wealthier than previous generations, consuming more and experiencing more, but yet so many of us are so unhappy,” Toepfer says. “The question of ‘is there something simple we can do to be happier?’ is one that I have been thinking about for many years and one that has interested people for much longer.”

With that question in mind, Toepfer enlisted students from six courses to explore the effects of writing letters of gratitude to people who had positively impacted the students’ lives. Over the course of a six-week period, students wrote one letter every two weeks with the simple ground rules that it had to be positively expressive, required some insight and reflection, were nontrivial and contained a high level of appreciation or gratitude.

After each letter, students completed a survey to gauge their moods, satisfaction with life and feelings of gratitude and happiness.

“I saw their happiness increase after each letter, meaning the more they wrote, the better they felt,” says Toepfer, who also witnessed improvement in participants’ life satisfaction and gratitude throughout the study. “The most powerful thing in our lives is our social network. It doesn’t have to be large, and you don’t always need to be the life of the party, but just having one or two significant connections in your life has shown to have terrific psychological and physical benefits.”

In all, 75 percent of the students said they planned to continue to write letters of gratitude even when the course was over.

Studies demonstrate, according to Toepfer, that practicing expressive writing is often associated with fewer health problems, decreased depression, an improved immune system and improved grades.

“We are all walking around with an amazing resource: gratitude,” says Toepfer. “It helps us express and enjoy, appreciate, be thankful and satisfied with a little effort. We all have it, and we need to use it to improve our quality of life.”

Try it for yourself.

What are you grateful for?

What blessings have been bestowed?

What gifts are yours?

Write it down.

Be grateful.

Be happy.

Simple as that.

How much is too much?

How much is enough?

When  does support become crippling or enabling?

Does unconditional love mean giving without end?

Too much help…

Can it keep one from self-sufficiency, self reliance?

What if the giver feels used, the gift taken for granted?

Please share your thoughts and experiences.

A Loved One with Mental Illness…

If you have a family member or friend who’s been diagnosed with a mental illness, you’re probably wondering what you can do to help. Although new forms of therapy and medication make it possible for many individuals to lead full, independent lives, the support of family, friends and peers remains an essential element in the recovery process.

What Is a Mental Illness?

(Much of the following has been adapted from material originally published in NAMI publications.) A mental illness is a disease that causes mild to severe disturbances in thought and behavior that results in an inability to cope with life’s ordinary demands and routines. There are more than 200 classified forms of mental illness, all of which can be triggered by a variety of causes: a particular situation or series of events, an illness, genetics, biochemical imbalances, or any combination of those factors. Above all, it’s important to remember that there is help and hope for your loved one.

Encourage a Dialogue for Recovery

A key element in recovery is a productive, two-way communication between patient and doctor. Encouraging your friend or family member to foster this type of relationship with his or her team of healthcare professionals can make a big difference in helping your loved one to recover. There are also many other ways you can help people cope with their disorder, get treatment and work toward recovery. Here are some tips for supporting someone close to you.

Support Strategies

Accept your feelings. You may find yourself denying the warning signs, worrying what other people will think due to stigma, or wondering what caused your loved one to become ill. Accept that these feelings are normal and common among others in your situation.

Educate yourself. Learn about the diagnosis, symptoms and available treatments. Local Mental Health America affiliates, public libraries and the Internet are all good resources.

Be compassionate. Recognize that your family member or friend may feel scared and confused after receiving a diagnosis. Although some people are relieved to get diagnosed and actively seek treatment, it may feel devastating to others.

Motivate. Encourage your loved one to learn about what treatments and services will promote recovery. Recognize that finding the right treatment or services can take time, and can involve a process of trial and error.

Practice “active listening.” Listen to your family member or friend and express your understanding back to them. Acknowledge the feelings he or she is experiencing and don’t discount them, even if you believe them to be symptoms of the illness.

Coping with unusual behavior. Certain behaviors people with mental illnesses may exhibit can be disruptive- especially in public-and difficult to accept. The next time you and your loved one visit his or her mental health professional, discuss these behaviors together and develop a strategy for coping.

Understand the challenges of medication. Although treatments have improved tremendously in the past decade, they can also lead to side effects that can make your family member or friend want to stop taking the medicine. Encourage your loved one to speak immediately to his or her health care provider about any problems related to medications.

Understand that it’s not just about medication. Recovery from mental illness isn’t only a matter of “just staying on your medications.” Self-esteem, social support and a feeling of contributing to society are also essential elements of recovery and should be supported.

Offer practical help. Offer to drive or accompany your family member or friend to medical and other appointments. And, if he or she wants you to, discuss the treatment, side effects or other issues with the doctor and treatment team.

Give respect. Always respect the individual’s need for and right to privacy. People with mental illnesses have the same right to be treated with dignity and respect as anyone else.

Establish a support network. Seek out your own support from family and friends. Self-help and support groups also provide an opportunity to talk with other people who are experiencing the same types of issues you are. They can listen and offer valuable advice.

Take time out. Schedule time for yourself to help you keep things in perspective. Making sure you pursue your own interests will help you have more patience and compassion toward your loved one. You can only help others when you are physically and emotionally healthy yourself. Also, make sure any other family members aren’t feeling ignored, and set aside quality time to spend together.

Maintain hope. There is hope for recovery, and with treatment, many people who have mental illnesses return to productive and fulfilling lives.

What are the symptoms of bipolar disorder?

Bipolar mood changes are called “mood episodes.”

People may have manic episodes, depressive episodes, or “mixed” episodes.

A mixed episode has both manic and depressive symptoms.

These mood episodes cause symptoms that last a week or two-sometimes longer.

During an episode, the symptoms last every day for most of the day.

Mood episodes are intense.

The feelings are strong and happen along with extreme changes in behavior and energy levels.

People experiencing a manic episode may:

• Feel very “up” or “high”
• Feel “jumpy” or “wired”
• Talk really fast about a lot of different things
• Be agitated, irritable, or “touchy”
• Have trouble relaxing or sleeping
• Think they can do a lot of things at once and are more active than usual
• Do risky things, like spend a lot of money or have reckless sex

People experiencing a depressive episode may:

• Feel very “down” or sad
• Feel worried and empty
• Have trouble concentrating
• Forget things a lot
• Lose interest in fun activities and become less active
• Feel tired or “slowed down”
• Have trouble sleeping
• Think about death or suicide

People experiencing a mixed state have symptoms of both a manic episode and a major depressive episode at the same time.

Want to know more? Click here.

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How can I help someone I know with bipolar disorder?

Help your friend or relative see a doctor to get the right diagnosis and treatment. You may need to make the appointment and go with him or her to the doctor.

Here are some helpful things you can do:

Be patient

Encourage your friend or relative to talk, and listen to him or her carefully

Be understanding about mood swings

Include your friend or relative in fun activities

Remind him or her that getting better is possible with the right treatment

How does bipolar disorder affect friends and family?

When a friend or relative has bipolar disorder, it affects you too. Taking care of someone with bipolar disorder can be stressful. You have to cope with the mood swings and sometimes other problems, such as drinking too much. Sometimes the stress can strain your relationships with other people. Caregivers can miss work or lose free time.

If you are taking care of someone with bipolar disorder, take care of yourself too. With good self care, you will do a better job, and it might help your loved one stick to his or her treatment.

Click here for bipolar symptoms.

How can I help myself if I have bipolar disorder?

You can help yourself by getting treatment and sticking with it. It takes time, and it’s not easy. But treatment is the best way to start feeling better.

Here are some tips:

• Talk to your doctor about your treatment.
• Stay on your medication.
• Keep a routine for eating and sleeping.
• Make sure you get enough sleep.
• Learn to recognize your mood swings.
• Ask a friend or relative to help you stick with your treatment.
• Be patient about your symptoms. Improvement takes time.

And Remember…wellness is worth it…and so are you!

Learn more about bipolar disorder and listen to this informative and candid interview.

Click on either of the above photos to view a 42 minute episode of “Footnote,” a weekly book talk show.

Preventing Drug and Alcohol Abuse

Responding If It Happens

Yesterday’s post shared some enlightening facts about the dire consequences of early drug and alcohol experimentation.

Proven through long term study, scientists and researchers now tell us that the longer an individual postpones the onset of alcohol, tobacco or other drug use, the less likely that individual is to develop an addiction or other lifelong problems, including depression.

Another astonishing fact: 40% of kids who begin to drink alcohol at 15 years of age will develop alcoholism at some point in their lives.

As parents we’re responsible for raising happy, healthy kids into productive, contributing, and contented adults. Helping them to stay drug free is key to achieving these goals. Today I’ll share some guidelines gleaned from my personal experience as well as  Parents:The Anti-Drug, The Community of Concern and Freevibe.

I also want to remind you that these guidelines are no guarantee. I raised three kids in the same way, with the same rules and the same open communication. Two abstained from drugs and alcohol. One became an addict. But we never gave up and we never gave in. We never destroyed the lines of communication and we never demolished relationships. We continue to have hope and continue to love.  That is, perhaps, the most important bit of advice that I can share.

Prevention

Set rules. Let your teen know that drug and alcohol use is unacceptable and that these rules are set to keep him or her safe. Set limits with clear consequences for breaking them.
Praise and reward good behavior for compliance and enforce consequences for non-compliance.

Know where your teen is and what he or she will be doing during unsupervised time. Research shows that teens with unsupervised time are three times more likely to use marijuana or other drugs. Unsupervised teens are also more likely to engage in risky behaviors such as underage drinking, sexual activity, and cigarette smoking than other teens. This is particularly important after school, in the evening hours, and also when school is out during the summer or holidays.

Talk to your teen. While shopping or riding in the car, casually ask him how things are going at school, about his friends, what his plans are for the weekend, etc..

Keep them busy - especially between 3 p.m. to 6 p.m. and into the evening hours. Engage your teen in after-school activities. Enroll your child in a supervised educational program or a sports league. Research shows that teens who are involved in constructive, adult-supervised activities are less likely to use drugs than other teens.

Check on your teenager. Occasionally check in to see that your kids are where they say they’re going to be and that they are spending time with whom they say they are with.

Establish a “core values statement” for your family. Consider developing a family mission statement that reflects your family’s core values. This might be discussed and created during a family meeting or over a weekend meal together. Talking about what they stand for is particularly important at a time when teens are pressured daily by external influencers on issues like drugs, sex, violence, or vandalism. If there is no compass to guide your kids, the void will be filled by the strongest force.

Spend time together as a family regularly and be involved in your kid’s lives. Create a bond with your child. This builds up credit with your child so that when you have to set limits or enforce consequences, it’s less stressful.

Take time to learn the facts about marijuana and underage drinking and talk to your teen about its harmful health, social, learning, and mental effects on young users. Visit the drug information area of TheAntiDrug.com

Get to know your teen’s friends (and their parents) by inviting them over for dinner or talking with them at your teen’s soccer practice, dance rehearsal, or other activities.

Stay in touch with the adult supervisors of your child (camp counselors, coaches, employers, teachers) and have them inform you of any changes in your teen. Warning signs of drug use include distance from family and existing friends, hanging out with a new circle of friends, lack of interest in personal appearance, or changes in eating or sleeping habits.

If you suspect your child is using or abusing…

Get Educated. Learn as much as you can. Sign up for The Anti-Drug Parenting Tips Newsletter or go www.Freevibe.com for information and scientific evidence on drug and alcohol use by teens. Call the National Clearinghouse for Alcohol and Drug Information (NCADI) for free pamphlets and fact sheets. They can be reached at 1-800-788-2800; Spanish: 1-877-746-3764. Or visit their website.

Don’t Make Excuses. Although it’s natural for parents to make excuses for their child, you’re not helping him/her if you make excuses when he/she misses school or family functions when you suspect something else is at play. Take the next step: Talk to your child and get more information.

Have The Talk - Let Them Know You Know. Sit down and talk with your child. Be sure to have the conversation when you are all calm and have plenty of time. This isn’t easy-your feelings may range from anger to guilt that you have “failed” because your kid is using drugs. This isn’t true-by staying involved you can help his/her stop using and make choices that will make a positive difference in his/her life.

Know that you will have this discussion many, many times. Talking to your kid about drugs and alcohol is not a one-time event.

Be Specific About Your Concerns. Tell your child what you see and how you feel about it. Be specific about the things you have observed that cause concern. Make it known if you found drug paraphernalia (or empty bottles or cans). Explain exactly how his/her behavior or appearance (bloodshot eyes, different clothing) has changed and why that worries you. Tell his/her that drug and alcohol use is dangerous and it’s your job to keep his/her away from things that put his/her in danger.

Try to Remain Calm and Connect With Him/Her. Have this discussion without getting mad or accusing your child of being stupid or bad or an embarrassment to the family. Be firm but loving with your tone and try not to get hooked into an argument. Knowing that kids are naturally private about their lives, try to find out what’s going on in your child’s life. Try not to make the discussion an inquisition; simply try to connect with your teen and find out why he/she may be making bad choices. Find out if friends or others offered your child drugs at a party or school. Did he/she try it just out of curiosity, or did he/she use marijuana or alcohol for some other reason? That alone will be a signal to your child that you care and that you are going to be the parent exercising your rights.

Here are some suggested things to tell your son or daughter:

• You LOVE him/her, and you are worried that he/she might be using drugs or alcohol
• You KNOW that drugs may seem like the thing to do, but doing drugs can have serious consequences
• It makes you FEEL worried and concerned about him/her when he/she does drugs
• You are there to LISTEN to him/her
• We are here to make it clear that we will not tolerate any drug or alcohol use by you.
• We have rules in the family. The rules do not permit teen drug and alcohol use.
• Even though you think everyone is using drugs or alcohol, it is illegal and not allowable.
• You can endanger your life and the lives of others.
• We count on you as a family member. Your brothers and sisters look up to you and care about you. What would they do if you were gone?
• Drug and alcohol use can ruin your future and chances to…graduate, go to college, get a job, and keep your driver’s license.
• We are here to support you. What can I do to help you not use?
• Sometimes kids use drugs and alcohol because there are other issues going on like stress, unhappiness and social issues. Have you thought about this? Are there other problems you want to talk about?
• Are your friends using? How are you handling that? Is it hard to not use in that environment?
• We won’t give up on you because we love you. We’re going to be on your case until you stop completely. If you need professional help, we will be there to support you and help make it happen.

Be Prepared. Practice What You’ll Say. Be prepared for your teen to deny using drugs. Don’t expect him/her to admit he/she has a problem. Your child will probably get angry and might try to change the subject. Maybe you’ll be confronted with questions about what you did as a kid. If you are asked, it is best to be honest, and if you can, connect your use to negative consequences. Answering deceptively can cause you to lose credibility with your kids if they ever find out that you’ve lied to them. On the other hand, if you don’t feel comfortable answering the question, you can talk about some specific people you know that have had negative things happen to them as a result of drug and alcohol use. However, if the time comes to talk about it, you can give short, honest answers.

Most importantly, do all that you can to preserve relationships. When you get through this difficult time, you’ll be glad you did not destroy your family in the process.

Drugs, Alcohol and Young Teens

Early drinking and drug use can put kids on a path toward long-term problems. A 30-year study of more that 1,000 New Zealanders showed that kids who consume alcohol or abuse drugs before age 15 are more likely than their peers to become adult alcoholics or addicts, have unwanted pregnancies, contract sexually transmitted diseases and commit felonies. These outcomes are consistent whether or not the teens had a history of unacceptable behavior or came from families with substance abuse or mental health problems.

The participants were monitored for 30 years, starting at age 3. At the ages of 13 and 15, they were asked whether they had ever tried alcohol or illegal drugs. Overall, 11 percent of 13-year-olds said they had used alcohol or drugs multiple times. Half of these early starters had no history of serious behavioral problems or family factors likely to put them at higher risk of substance abuse.

Ultimately, the early starters were two to three times more likely than their peers to become drug- or alcohol-dependent, contract a sexually transmitted disease or have an early pregnancy. They were also  four times as likely to have had a criminal conviction.

This information should give parents a major heads-up.

Most parents don’t think their young teens use drugs or alcohol, but national surveys indicate that almost half of U.S. teens younger than 15 have done so. This study verifies that teens who use substances multiple times before their 15th birthday are at risk for a wide range of poor health outcomes, and that parents must assume the possibility exists.

Open communication, rules and guidelines, and intervention when necessary could prevent early experimentation from determining a lifetime of challenge. If you suspect your child or a young teen you know is experimenting with drugs or alcohol. Act now. You could change the course of his life.

Visit these websites to learn more:

The Partnership for a Drug-Free America

Phoenix House’s Facts on Tap

Leadership to Keep Kids Alcohol Free

Parents: The Anti-Drug

More than seventy-five percent of people diagnosed with chronic depression also have recurring or chronic pain Conversely,  thirty to sixty percent of people with chronic pain report symptoms of depression, according to the Archives of General Psychiatry.

To better understand the connections between pain and depression, Irina Strigo of the University of California San Diego and her colleagues studied brain images of people with chronic depression and discovered clues that help explain why so many of these same people also live with chronic pain.

Volunteers were told eight seconds beforehand that a painful experience was coming — being touched on the arm with a device hot enough to cause brief pain but not injury.

Strigo’s team tested 15 people in their mid-20s who were diagnosed with major depression, but not taking medication to treat it. Their magnetic resonance imaging (MRI) brain scans were compared to those of 15 similar people who did not have depression.

While anticipating the pain, the people with depression registered significantly more activity in the portions of the brain that process emotions, including the amygdala and insula, compared with the people with no depression.

The amygdala controls autonomic responses associated with fear, arousal, emotionas, and hormonal secretions, and has long been linked with a person’s mental and emotional state. This is where the “fight or flight” response originates, as well as directions to secrete stress hormones like cortisol and adrenaline.

The insula seems to direct what it “feels like to be human.” It’s the source of social emotions like lust, disgust, pride, humiliation, guilt and atonement. It’s believed to be the anatomical locus of moral intuition, empathy and the capacity to respond emotionally to music and other stimuli.

During the five seconds their arm was touched with the hot device, their brains continued to show increased emotional activity. During that same time, brain regions normally involved in managing pain were less active in the depressed people than the others.

“If a person has chronic pain together with depression, this is a very debilitating condition. This condition is very difficult to treat and the disability is much higher and the cost of treatment is very high,” Strigo said.

It is hoped that the study’s findings point toward new ways to help patients, either through behavioral therapies or medication.