In 2009 I want to live optimally.

I want to consciously create an environment, both internal and in the world, that welcomes blessings and reveals the joy that always is. To do that, I must first appreciate the gifts I’ve already received.

One of my life’s greatest gifts is good friends. I spend a fair amount of time with several women whose wisdom, personalities, values and life experiences enrich my own and provide opportunities for me to learn more and live better. One of those wonderful women sent an email that included a paragraph about her practice toward a more blessed life. The following excerpt from that email does two things:

1.- Gives you a glimpse into the amazing creatures that make up my wonderful circle of friends.

2.- Provides you with concrete, easy-to-do activities that create immediate and profound results.

Have a look and see what you think…and then respond or email me with your practices and processes. Share the richness of your lives!

Blessings will come if you cultivate as much stillness as possible.  Reducing the noise levels in your life is a good first step.  Other things you might want to do:  Cut way down on your use of the phone; text-message sparingly; surf the internet 70 percent less than usual; avoid watching TV news altogether.  See if you can enjoy some periods each day by sitting down in a quiet place and watch the wide sky roll by.

Stress and the holidays seem to go hand in hand in both the media and real life. We put a lot of pressure on ourselves to create the perfect holiday season and then feel a lot of pressure to recover from the festivities. With that in mind, there’s no better time to share a great list of proven stress reducers that was put together by Texas Woman’s University.

And because we must read, see, hear or experience information a minimum of 17 times before we incorporate it into our lives, I’ll repeat and expound on each item once a week during 2009.

Yep–2009. End of this week! YIKES!

Here’s the list in it’s entirety:

1. Get up fifteen minutes earlier in the morning. The inevitable morning mishaps will be less stressful.
2. Prepare for the morning the evening before. Set the breakfast table, make lunches, put out the clothes you plan to wear, etc.
3. Don’t rely on your memory. Write down appointment times, when to pick up the laundry, when library books are due, etc.
4. Do nothing which, after being done, leads you to tell a lie.
5. Make duplicates of all keys. Bury a house key in a secret spot in the garden and carry a duplicate car key in your wallet, apart from your key ring.
6. Practice preventive maintenance. Your car, appliances, home, and relationships will be less likely to break down/fall apart “at the worst possible moment.”
7. Be prepared to wait. A paperback can make a wait in a post office line almost pleasant.
8. Procrastination is stressful. Whatever you want to do tomorrow, do today; whatever you want to do today, do it now.
9. Plan ahead. Don’t let the gas tank get below one-quarter full; keep a well-stocked “emergency shelf” of home staples; don’t wait until you’re down to your last bus token or postage stamp to buy more; etc.
10. Don’t put up with something that doesn’t work right. If your alarm clock, wallet, shoe laces, windshield wipers - whatever- are a constant aggravation, get them fixed or get new ones.
11. Allow 15 minutes of extra time to get to appointments. Plan to arrive at an airport one hour before domestic departures.
12. Eliminate (or restrict) the amount of caffeine in your diet.
13. Always set up contingency plans, “just in case.” (”If for some reason either of us is delayed, here’s what we’ll do. . .” kind of thing. Or, “If we get split up in the shopping center, here’s where we’ll meet.”)
14. Relax your standards. The world will not end if the grass doesn’t get mowed this weekend.
15. Pollyanna-Power! For every one thing that goes wrong, there are probably 10 or 50 or 100 blessings. Count ‘em!
16. Ask questions. Taking a few moments to repeat back directions, what someone expects of you, etc., can save hours. (The old “the hurrieder I go, the behinder I get,” idea.)
17. Say “No!” Saying “no” to extra projects, social activities, and invitations you know you don’t have the time or energy for takes practice, self-respect, and a belief that everyone, everyday, needs quiet time to relax and be alone.
18. Unplug your phone. Want to take a long bath, meditate, sleep, or read without interruption? Drum up the courage to temporarily disconnect. (The possibility of there being a terrible emergency in the next hour or so is almost nil.) Or use an answering machine.
19. Turn “needs” into preferences. Our basic physical needs translate into food, water, and keeping warm. Everything else is a preference. Don’t get attached to preferences.
20. Simplify, simplify, simplify. . .
21. Make friends with non-worriers. Nothing can get you into the habit of worrying faster than associating with chronic worrywarts.
22. Get up and stretch periodically if your job requires that you sit for extended periods.
23. Wear earplugs. If you need to find quiet at home, pop in some earplugs.
24. Get enough sleep. If necessary, use an alarm clock to remind you to go to bed.
25. Create order out of chaos. Organize your home and workspace so that you always know exactly where things are. Put things away where they belong and you won’t have to go through the stress of losing things.
26. When feeling stressed, most people tend to breathe short, shallow breaths. When you breathe like this, stale air is not expelled, oxidation of the tissues is incomplete, and muscle tension frequently results. Check your breathing throughout the day, and before, during, and after high-pressure situations. If you find your stomach muscles knotted and your breathing is shallow, relax all your muscles and take several deep, slow breaths.
27. Writing your thoughts and feelings down (in a journal, or on paper to be thrown away) can help you clarify things and can give you a renewed perspective
28. Try the following yoga technique whenever you feel the need to relax. Inhale deeply through your nose to the count of eight. Then, with lips puckered, exhale very slowly through your mouth to the count of 16, or for as long as you can. Concentrate on the long sighing sound and feel the tension dissolve. Repeat 10 times.
29. Inoculate yourself against a feared event. Example: before speaking in public, take time to go over every part of the experience in your mind. Imagine what you’ll wear, what the audience will look like, how you will present your talk, what the questions will be and how you will answer them, etc. Visualize the experience the way you would have it be. You’ll likely find that when the time comes to make the actual presentation, it will be “old hat” and much of your anxiety will have fled.
30. When the stress of having to get a job done gets in the way of getting the job done, diversion - a voluntary change in activity and/or environment - may be just what you need.
31. Talk it out. Discussing your problems with a trusted friend can help clear your mind of confusion so you can concentrate on problem solving.
32. One of the most obvious ways to avoid unnecessary stress is to select an environment (work, home, leisure) which is in line with your personal needs and desires. If you hate desk jobs, don’t accept a job which requires that you sit at a desk all day. If you hate to talk politics, don’t associate with people who love to talk politics, etc.
33. Learn to live one day at a time.
34. Every day, do something you really enjoy.
35. Add an ounce of love to everything you do.
36. Take a hot bath or shower (or a cool one in summertime) to relieve tension.
37. Do something for somebody else.
38. Focus on understanding rather than on being understood; on loving rather than on being loved.
39. Do something that will improve your appearance. Looking better can help you feel better.
40. Schedule a realistic day. Avoid the tendency to schedule back-to-back appointments; allow time between appointments for a breathing spell.
41. Become more flexible. Some things are worth not doing perfectly and some issues are fine to compromise upon.
42. Eliminate destructive self-talk: “I’m too old to. . .,” “I’m too fat to. . .,” etc.
43. Use your weekend time for a change of pace. If your work week is slow and patterned, make sure there is action and time for spontaneity built into your weekends. If your work week is fast-paced and full of people and deadlines, seek peace and solitude during your days off. Feel as if you aren’t accomplishing anything at work? Tackle a job on the weekend which you can finish to your satisfaction.
44. “Worry about the pennies and the dollars will take care of themselves.” That’s another way of saying: take care of the todays as best you can and the yesterdays and the tomorrows will take care of themselves.
45. Do one thing at a time. When you are with someone, be with that person and with no one or nothing else.
46. When you are busy with a project, concentrate on doing that project and forget about everything else you have to do.
47. Allow yourself time - everyday - for privacy, quiet, and introspection.
48. If an especially unpleasant task faces you, do it early in the day and get it over with, then the rest of your day will be free of anxiety.
49. Learn to delegate responsibility to capable others.
50. Don’t forget to take a lunch break. Try to get away from your desk or work area in body and mind, even if it’s just for 15 or 20 minutes.
51. Forget about counting to 10. Count to 1,000 before doing something or saying anything that could make matters worse.
52. Have a forgiving view of events and people. Accept the fact that we live in an imperfect world. Have an optimistic view of the world.

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Many of my readers wrote to tell me that they could not afford the several hundred dollar light fixtures most doctors recommend for SAD. Worry not! Less expensive, just-as-effective options exist.

Click on the logos and icons below for alternative sites and products:

I’ve also seen full-spectrum bulbs and fixtures at Lowe’s, Home Depot and garden centers, often marketed as grow lights. Check it out. Compare prices. Let the light shine and feel better.

In the midst of this holiday season, surrounded by bright lights, colorful displays and tidings of comfort and joy, many among us are simply sad. Although this could be related to unfulfilled expectations or unhappy memories, it’s just as likely to be weather-related.

Despite efforts and actions toward happy wellness, some people experience symptoms of depression during the winter months, which abate during the spring and summer. This may be a sign of Seasonal Affective Disorder (SAD). SAD is a mood disorder associated with depression episodes and related to seasonal variations of light.

SAD was first referenced in medical journals in the early 1800’s, but wasn’t officially recognized and named until the 1980’s. Knowing that the number of sunlight hours in a given day affects seasonal animal behaviors including reproductive cycles and hibernation, scientists assumed that same change in seasons could affect human behaviors as well. Some deduced that SAD is an effect of this seasonal light variation in humans.

As seasons change, there are fewer hours of sunlight in fall and winter, and more hours of darkness. Melatonin, a sleep-related hormone secreted by the pineal gland in the brain, is produced at increased levels in the dark, and when overproduced, can cause symptoms of depression.

Not surprisingly, January and February, the months with the fewest number of daylight hours are the months during which seasonal depression is most frequently reported. On an interesting note, younger people and women seem to be at greatest risk. If you predictably get “the blues” every fall or winter, you may suffer from Seasonal Affective Disorder.

Symptoms Include:

• regularly occurring symptoms of depression (excessive eating and sleeping, weight gain) during fall or winter months
• full remission from depression occur in the spring and summer months
• symptoms occurred in two or more fall/winter seasons, with no nonseasonal depression episodes
• seasonal episodes substantially outnumber nonseasonal depression episodes
• a craving for sugary and/or starchy foods

Treatments Include:

Phototherapy, or bright light therapy, has been effectively used to suppress the brain’s secretion of melatonin. Although, there have been no research findings to definitely link this therapy with an antidepressant effect, many people respond quite well. The device most often used today is a bank of white fluorescent lights on a metal reflector and shield with a plastic screen. For mild symptoms, spending time outdoors during the day or arranging homes and workplaces to receive more sunlight may be helpful. One study found that an hour’s walk in winter sunlight was as effective as two and a half hours under bright artificial light.

If phototherapy doesn’t work, an antidepressant drug may prove effective in reducing or eliminating SAD symptoms, but there may be unwanted side effects to consider. Discuss your symptoms thoroughly with your family doctor and/or mental health professional.

If you are not willing to risk the side effects of a prescription antidepressant, you may want to follow Dr. Andrew Weil’s recommendation and consider trying St. John’s wort (Hypericum perforatum). This extensively researched herb is an effective treatment for a range of conditions, including:

• Seasonal affective disorder (SAD)
• Mild to moderate depression
• Nervousness
• Insomnia
• Anorexia
• Skin irritation, including herpes simplex

Look for  tablets, capsules, tinctures, fluid extract, powdered extract or oil that are standardized for hyperforin and hypericin. Dr. Weil recommends 300 milligrams three times a day. As an antidepressant, it may take six to eight weeks to work. If you suffer from Seasonal Affective Disorder, you may want to use St. John’s wort in conjunction with phototherapy, or bright light therapy.

If you’re feeling blue, I hope this gives you some tools toward wellness; and I wish all of you a happier holiday season.

Kate

“…a lot of people would say that the holidays are the worst time of the year,” says Ken Duckworth, MD, medical director of the National Alliance on Mental Illness. “They’re just straight up miserable, and that’s not only for people with clinical depression.”

If Dr. Duckworth’s words ring true for you, consider the following hints to navigate your way through a happier holiday season:

Take care of yourself first. Identify the specific things, people or situations that trigger your holiday blues and avoid them. You are responsible for your own happiness. The only person you can change is yourself.

Focus on what brings you joy. Don’t push yourself to your limit trying to fulfill other people’s expectations. Exhaustion and worry benefit no one.

If past holidays have disappointed, change the pattern. Do something different. Create your own traditions.

Volunteer. Acts of loving kindness make far more impact than purchases.

Make a gratitude list. Literally count your blessings. Write it down, look at it and add to it when an additional joy comes to mind. The amount of goodness in your life may surprise you.

Enlist the help of those around you. Friends and family often enjoy lending a hand, but sometimes need to be asked. So ask them, and be specific. Let people know what you need and they’ll likely help provide it.

Honor the memory of loved ones who aren’t around anymore. Rather than mourn their absence, reflect on the goodness you enjoyed when together and celebrate the relationship that was.

Don’t overbook. Again, exhaustion benefits no one. Commit to parties that you really enjoy and have the time for; and then graciously decline other offers.

Create and stick to a budget. The cost of holiday shopping mounts quickly and can make people feel out of control and anxious. Never spend more than you have.

Exercise. While you may not feel like you have the time to exercise during the holidays, the benefits are

Eat sensibly. Healthful eating keeps you feeling better both physically and emotionally.

Wishing you blessings of the season.

We often hear about suicidal college students, but suicide and suicide attempts are growing problems among younger kids as well. High school and middle school children, particularly boys who live in homes with guns, are killing themselves at alarming and increasing rates. Consider the following facts, gleaned from the National Institute of Mental Health, The Jed Foundation and Ulifeline.org:

• Suicide rates for those between the ages of 10-14 increased 99% between 1980 and 1997. This age group has shown a small decline in the past two years. For 2001, the rate is 1.5 per 100,000.

• In the 10 to 14 age group, white youths (ranked 3rd leading cause of death) were far more likely to complete suicide than black youths (ranked 7th leading cause of death). White males between 10 and 14 years of age were three times more likely to complete suicide than females of the same age.

• In 2001, there were 272 suicides in the U.S among children ages 10 to 14.

• Most adolescent suicides occur after school hours and in the teen’s home.

• Within a typical high school classroom, it is likely that three students (one boy and two girls) have made a suicide attempt in the past year.

• The typical profile of an adolescent nonfatal suicide attempter is a female who ingests pills, while the profile of the typical completer suicide is a male who dies from a gunshot wound.

• Not all adolescent attempters admit their intent. Deliberate self-harming behaviors should be considered serious and in need of further evaluation.

• Most adolescent suicide attempts are precipitated by interpersonal conflicts. The intent of the behavior appears to be to effect change in the behaviors or attitudes of others.

• Repeat attempters (those making more than one nonlethal attempt) generally use their behavior as a means of coping with stress and tend to exhibit more chronic symptoms, poor coping histories, and a higher presence of suicide and substance abuse in their families.

• Many teens display one or more of the signs identified below. If observed, seek professional help:

• Presence of a psychiatric or social disorder (depression, drug or alcohol abuse in home, behavior problems, runs away, has been incarcerated)
• The expression/communication of thoughts of suicide, death, dying or the afterlife (in a context of sadness, boredom, hopelessness or negative feelings)
• Impulsive and aggressive behavior; frequent expressions of rage
• Use of alcohol or drugs
• Exposure to another’s suicidal behavior
• Recent severe stressor (difficulty dealing with sexual orientation; unplanned pregnancy, significant real or anticipated loss, family violence, etc.)
• Family instability; significant family conflict

If you encounter a young person whose situation is mirrored in the above facts, act now. Reach out. Offer help. You may save a life.

• Suicide is the second leading cause of death in college-age students.
• More than 1,000 suicides occur on college campuses every year.
• One in 12 college students have a suicide plan.

As kids come home from colleges and universities to spend the holidays with their families, be aware of changes in behavior or demeanor. If you have concerns about a college student, seek immediate medical attention. Depression and anxiety play major roles in suicidality, and both are quite treatable.

It’s important to be aware of the facts. Depression, anxiety and other mental health issues don’t just go away and aren’t simply “phases” they’ll outgrow. They are real illnesses with serious consequences.

Did you know?

• Half of all college students have considered suicide
• Only half of those kids thought they might benefit from counseling
• 9.5% of students had seriously contemplated suicide
• One in five undergrads feels constant, unremitting stress
• In the twelve month period prior to the survey, half of the sample reported feeling very sad, one third reported feeling hopeless and 22% reported feeling so depressed as to not be able to function
• Of the 16,000 students surveyed, only 6.2% of males and 12.8% of females reported a diagnosis of depression. Therefore, there are a large number of students who are not receiving adequate treatment and/or who remain undiagnosed
• Of students who seriously considered suicide, 94.8% reported feeling so sad they could not function at least once in the past year, and 94.4% reported feelings of hopelessness.

Do You Want to Know Why?

Here’s what overwhelmed the college students surveyed:

• New and unfamiliar environment
• Academic and social pressures
• Feelings of failure or decreased performance
• Alienation
• Family history of mental illness
• Lack adequate coping skills
• Difficulties adjusting to new demands and different work loads
• Emotional or physical pain

Combine these concerns with risk factors including depression, sadness, hopelessness, and stress and you’ve got a ticking bomb.

What should you watch for?

• A previous suicide attempt
• Talking about suicide
• Drug or alcohol abuse
• Feeling hopeless or helpless
• Deep depression
• Changes in behavior and personality
• Giving away favorite possessions
• Loss of interest in friends or hobbies

If you notice these signs, don’t wait! Seek treatment. Get help. NOW.

For more information and support, check out the following links:

The Jed Foundation

American Foundation for Suicide Prevention

Suicide Prevention, Awareness and Support

U Life Line

The holidays. I love ‘em, but not everybody does. Sadly, the incidence of suicide peaks at this time of year, especially among the elderly and the nation’s youth.

Here are the facts:

• Suicide ranks as the third leading cause of death for young people (ages 15-19 and 15-24); only accidents and homicides occur more frequently.

• Whereas suicides account for 1.3% of all deaths in the U.S. annually, they comprise 12.3% of all deaths among 15-24 year olds.

• Each year, there are approximately 10 suicides for every 100,000 youth.

• Approximately 11 young people between the ages of 15-24 die every day by suicide.

• Every 2 hours and 15 minutes, a person under the age of 25 completes suicide.

• Suicide rates among 15-24 year olds have more than doubled in the last 50 years. They have declined 25.6% since 1995.

• In the past 60 years, the suicide rate has quadrupled for boys 15 to 24 years old, and doubled for girls of the same age (CDC, 2002).

• Boys between the ages of 20 and 24 were 6.6 times more likely than girlss to complete suicide 2001. Boyss between 15 and 19 were 4.8 times more likely than girlss to complete suicide (2001 data).

• The boy to girl ratio of completed suicides was 5: 1 among 15-19 year olds and 6.9: 1 among 20-24 year olds (2000 data).

• Firearms are the most commonly used suicide method among kids, regardless of race or gender, accounting for almost three of five (57%) completed suicides.

• Access to and availability of firearms is a significant factor in the increase of youth suicide. Guns in the home are deadly to its occupants!

• For every completed suicide by a child, 100 to 200 attempts are made. In grades 9 through 12, 8.8% of students attempted suicide in the previous 12 months (6.2% male and 12.2% female). These numbers decrease from grades 9 (10.7%) to 12 (5.5%). A prior suicide attempt is an important risk factor for an eventual completion.

Source: U Life Line

Like most Americans, I proudly support our military men and women and appreciate their generous service. The prolonged wars in Iraq and Afghanistan have challenged them greatly, and these brave war-fighters have stood up to those challenges. But the cost has been high. Fortunately, military leaders care about the people in their commands, and lobbied for additional resources to address the skyrocketing suicide rates and incidents of mental illness. Thanks to these leaders and other concerned citizens, each branch of the US military has dedicated additional funds and personnel to help those in need.

Please follow the links below to find the specifics; and share the information with the folks in your community. These valiant servicemen and women deserve every benefit available to them.

Air Force Suicide Prevention Program

U.S. Army Center for Health Promotion and Preventive Medicine: Suicide

Coast Guard Suicide Awareness Program

Marine Corps Community Services Suicide Prevention Program

Navy Suicide Prevention Program

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•Be Loving.

•Educate, Encourage, Empower those affected by mental illness

•Abolish mental illness myths & misunderstandings

•Eradicate stigma surrounding diseases of the brain

•Write Creatively. Speak provocatively. Live passionately

•Inspire Hope

These are my goals.

Combining personal experience and a positive attitude with current research and proven strategies, I write, speak and advocate about all things mental health (and other equally important stuff).

If you’ve benefited from these efforts, please click on the image to the right.

Click on the image to the right to vote for Kate!