I’ve often been called a Pollyanna, and I embrace it.
Most of the time (there are, I admit, occasional PMS-y moments) I see the positive and expect the good from people and circumstances. I find it difficult to not smile and feel lovingly connected to those I encounter.
In simplest terms, I look at the bright side.
Please allow me to clarify. I am not an idiot.
I know people are not always well-intentioned; and I’m far too aware of the fact that life is not fair. Bad things — horrible things — happen every minute of every day. No question. So I advocate, educate, and work to change what leads to those bad things. I encourage and support others in their quests to find “the right” and “the good.” And I try to be an example.
I look for the good and praise it. I learn from my mistakes, vow not to repeat them and move on. I want to let my goodness shine and reflect others’ goodness back at them.
I live lovingly.
I also believe that for every one thing that goes wrong, many others go right. In every day, in most experiences, blessings and favors exist. It’s my task, my opportunity, to find those blessings and favors, embrace them, accept them, live them.
One last thing…
Living lovingly and with optimism tends to breed and grow more love and greater optimism.
Pessimism and negativity reproduce in much the same way.
What do you want to propagate? What will be your legacy?
This is the most recent installment in an ongoing series elaborating on 52 proven stress relievers identified by researchers at Texas Woman’s University.
I know it’s not, but wonder about this week’s cosmic activity. If you know, please leave a comment of explanation. Lots of oddities are occurring, especially in this online world. Here’s my beef:
After a long relationship with one web host, I made a change for improved service. I thought.
After signing contracts and sealing deals, this site disappeared for a few days. I’d been assured that would not happen. And then yesterday, my poetry site vaporized, auto-sending visitors here. (I guess that was a stroke of luck.)
Promises of rapid repairs and apologies were profuse. I am unimpressed, but choosing to focus on the bright side. Today I’ll be at a track meet in Tempe and tomorrow at the Diamondbacks’ game. I’m happily committed to a weekend of fun. There’s no room for worry about cyber-techno-glitchy issues.
But the darned site better be right on Monday!
In the meantime, here’s a poem many with bipolar disorder say accurately captures their reality, in case you’re Jonesin’:
Alzheimer’s disease is a progressive neurological disorder that leads to personality changes, memory loss, intellectual slowing, and other Alzheimer’s symptoms. Although each person with Alzheimer’s is different, most progress through a series of stages, each of which is characterized by more serious Alzheimer’s symptoms.
The following seven stages were developed by researchers and physicians to describe how you or your loved one will change over time. Your doctor might collapse the seven stages into early/middle/late or mild/moderate/severe, so these classifications are provided as well.
Stage 1 (Absence of Impairment)
There are no problems with memory, orientation, judgment, communication, or daily activities. You or your loved one is a normally functioning adult.
Stage 2 (Minimal Impairment)
You or your loved one might be experiencing some lapses in memory or other cognitive problems, but neither family nor friends are able to detect any changes. A medical exam would not reveal any problems either.
Stage 3 (Noticeable Cognitive Decline)
Family members and friends recognize mild changes in memory, communication patterns, or behavior. A visit to the doctor might result in a diagnosis of early-stage or mild Alzheimer’s disease, but not always. Common symptoms in this stage include:
Problems producing people’s names or the right words for objects
Noticeable difficulty functioning in employment or social settings
Forgetting material that has just been read
Misplacing important objects with increasing frequency
Decrease in planning or organizational skills
Stage 4 (Early-Stage/Mild Alzheimer’s)
Cognitive decline is more evident. You or your loved one may become more forgetful of recent events or personal details. Other problems include impaired mathematical ability (for instance, difficulty counting backwards from 100 by 9s), a diminished ability to carry out complex tasks like throwing a party or managing finances, moodiness, and social withdrawal.
Stage 5 (Middle-Stage/Moderate Alzheimer’s)
Some assistance with daily tasks is required. Problems with memory and thinking are quite noticeable, including symptoms such as:
An inability to recall one’s own contact information or key details about one’s history
Disorientation to time and/or place
Decreased judgment and skills in regard to personal care
Even though symptoms are worsening, people in this stage usually still know their own name and the names of key family members and can eat and use the bathroom without assistance.
Stage 6 (Moderate to Late-Stage/Severe Alzheimer’s)
This is often the most difficult stage for caregivers because it’s characterized by personality and behavior changes. In addition, memory continues to decline, and assistance is required for most daily activities. The most common symptoms associated with this stage include:
Reduced awareness of one’s surroundings and of recent events
Problems recognizing one’s spouse and other close family members, although faces are still distinguished between familiar and unfamiliar
Sundowning, which is increased restlessness and agitation in the late afternoon and evening
Difficulty using the bathroom independently
Bowel and bladder incontinence
Suspicion
Repetitive behavior (verbal and/or nonverbal)
Wandering
Stage 7 (Late-Stage/Severe Alzheimer’s)
In the final stage, it is usually no longer possible to respond to the surrounding environment. You or your loved one may be able to speak words or short phrases, but communication is extremely limited. Basic functions begin to shut down, such as motor coordination and the ability to swallow. Total care is required around the clock.
Although the stages provide a blueprint for the progression of Alzheimer’s symptoms, not everyone advances through the stages similarly. Caregivers report that their loved ones sometimes seem to be in two or more stages at once, and the rate at which people advance through the stages is highly individual. Still, the stages help us understand Alzheimer’s symptoms and prepare for their accompanying challenges.
Having watched my grandmother succumb to the ravages of Alzheimer’s and my mother strain under the weight of caregiving, I feel compelled to provide a few posts dedicated to those topics. Special thanks to the Alzheimers Association.
Throughout history, forgetfulness, senility and even dementia have been considered natural consequences of reaching old age; and to a degree, this is true. But the 8th leading cause of death in the United States is Alzheimer’s disease and it is NOT a component of the normal aging process.
It’s true that most of us experience minor changes in memory and thinking as we age, but the changes don’t significantly alter our day-to-day lives or hamper our ability to live independently. Alzheimer’s does.
Here are five differences between normal age-related memory loss and Alzheimer’s disease, as identified by the Alzheimer’s Association:
In normal age-related memory loss, someone might forget part of an experience, but a person with Alzheimer’s disease will forget the whole experience.
In normal age-related memory loss, a person who forgets something will eventually remember the information; however, a person with Alzheimer’s won’t recall the information at a later time.
In normal age-related memory loss, a person can usually follow instructions (verbal or written) without difficulty, but a person with Alzheimer’s disease is less and less able to follow instructions over time.
In normal age-related memory loss, using notes and other reminders is helpful, but people with Alzheimer’s gradually become less able to benefit from memory aids.
In normal age-related memory loss, people can still manage their own personal care (bathing, dressing, grooming, etc.), but those with Alzheimer’s lose the ability to engage in these kinds of tasks.
I hope you’ll return to this site over the next few days as I continue my series on Alzheimer’s disease. Please subscribe to my feed to get each new post and make a comment if you have thoughts to share.
My grandmother has Alzheimer’s disease, my father died of a brain hemorrhage and my mother suffered several mini-strokes at a relatively young age. Brain function, therefore, is a pretty important topic for me. I want to understand what’s normal and what’s cause for concern.
If you have a family history of Alzheimer’s, or have concerns about cognitive functioning, check out the 10 most common signs and symptoms of Alzheimer’s.
1. Memory loss
It is normal to occasionally forget names, appointments and where you put your keys. Memory loss associated with Alzheimer’s is more than that, and usually begins with an inability to recall recently-learned information. Someone with Alzheimer’s progressively forgets more things more often, and is unable to recall the information later.
2. Difficulty performing familiar tasks
All of us, particularly in times of stress or worry, forget why we came into a room or what we were about to say. People with Alzheimer’s, however, find it hard to plan or complete everyday tasks. They may lose track of the steps to prepare a meal, to place a telephone call or to play a long-enjoyed game.
3. Problems with language
Everybody, at one time or another, is at a loss for words. People suffering from Alzheimer’s forget simple words or substitute unusual words, making their speech and writing hard to understand. They may be unable to find their sweater, for example, and instead ask for “that thing that keeps me warm.”
4. Disorientation to time and place
I often get lost when navigating a new town or following another’s directions. This is not uncommon. People with Alzheimer’s, however, get lost in their own neighborhoods, forget where they are and how they got there, and find themselves unable to get back home.
5. Poor or decreased judgment
People make mistakes. We make choices that turn out to be the wrong ones. For people with with Alzheimer’s, this becomes frequent and differs greatly from their character. One simple example is dressing inappropriately, wearing several layers on a warm day or little clothing in the cold. They may also show poor judgment in more harmful areas, like giving away large sums of money or inviting strangers into their homes.
6. Problems with abstract thinking
Many of us have difficulty with math and some people struggle with complex reasoning problems. These are simply differences in skills and abilities. Someone with Alzheimer’s disease may have unusual difficulty performing complex mental tasks at which they were previously adept. They may also forget simple things, like what numbers are and how they should be used.
7. Misplacing things
Have you ever lost your keys, or locked them in the car? It happens. It’s a normal part of the human experience. What is not normal is the inability to understanding the appropriate location for things. A person with Alzheimer’s disease will often put things in unusual places: an iron in the freezer, jewelry in the sugar bowl, milk in the oven.
8. Changes in mood or behavior
Feeling sad or moody is part of the human experience, but someone with Alzheimer’s disease may show rapid mood swings - from calm to tears to anger - for no apparent reason.
9. Changes in personality
I am grateful that my personality has evolved as I have aged, But the personalities of people with dementia often change dramatically. They may become extremely confused, suspicious, fearful or dependent on a family member. In the later stages of Alzheimer’s, anger, frustration and aggression are common.
10. Loss of initiative
Most of us have felt overwhelmed and overextended at one time or another, wishing we could skip certain activities of commitments. A person with Alzheimer’s disease may completely stop participating in the activities they usually enjoy. He may become passive, avoid social contact, sit in front of the TV for hours, and sleep more than usual.
If you have a family history of Alzheimer’s Disease, or if many of these symptoms describe you or someone you love, get more information and support from The Alzheimer’s Association.
I’ve been greatly influenced by and frequently written about my grandmother. I love her. She loves me. Now 97, Gram recently moved into a “memory care facility” due to advancing Alzheimer’s. I wrote and posted this poem on www.katemclaughlinpoetry.com last week. It seems appropriate to post it here as well.
The neighbors will not converge if your lawn isn’t mowed this week.
Your children will remain healthy if you serve frozen rather than fresh vegetables.
The dishes will wait in the sink if priorities are pressing.
And you can wear that skirt twice this week if a trip to the dry cleaner is out of the question.
I’m not suggesting you relinquish dearly-held values, but simply saying that once in a while we all have to let something slide.
You’re not super-human.
Accept that fact, do your best and move on.
This is the most recent installment in an ongoing series elaborating on 52 proven stress relievers identified by researchers at Texas Woman’s University.
Learn to be lovingly self-reliant, lovingly self-sufficient.
Learn to be lovingly supportive, with loving boundaries.
Disagree, yes, but with love and respect.
And if you cannot bear to be near another,
keep your distance,
but do so lovingly.
…
LOVE.
Be LOVING.
Live LOVINGLY.
…
LOVE
LOVING
LOVINGLY
…
Simple.
…
Lov.ing.ly - Adverb
1. - with fondness; with love.
Lov.ing- Adjective
1. Feeling love; affectionate. 2. Indicative of or exhibiting love
Love - Noun
1. A deep, tender, ineffable feeling of affection and solicitude toward a person.
2. An intense emotional attachment, as for a pet or treasured object.
3. A person who is the object of deep or intense affection or attraction; beloved.
4. An expression of one’s affection: Send him my love.
His melody shines, he’s cleansed his mind, he feels free…
My son Michael turned 24 last week.
After eight tumultuous years, and too many brushes with death, he is doing well.
For the longest period of time since his first hospitalization at age 17, Michael has actively accepted and managed his addictions and his bipolar disorder.
He sees his treatment-program administrator every day and meets with a counselor once or twice a week.
He works full-time, attends the University and makes a happy life with his young wife and infant son.
He visits Mark and me once or twice a week and calls almost every day.
Both of his sisters recently commented, “Michael is back! That sweet boy we used to know is doing sweet, thoughtful things again.”
We know joy.
I appreciate the moment for it’s own sake.
We’ve know so many “bitter others.”
He is back.
His melody shines. He’s cleansed his mind. He feels free.
6% of American teens - 2 million kids ages 12 to 18 - have clinical depression.
Only a fraction of those are diagnosed and treated.
These facts are particularly distressing because, when treated, a majority of teens show lasting improvements, though it may take several months for the benefits to appear.
Depression is a fact of life for millions of kids.
Regarding long-term recovery, Kennard and her associates found that two-thirds of the teens who responded early to treatment remained well over the 9 months following their initial improvement. The same was true of 71 percent of the kids who initially took longer than 12 weeks to respond to therapy.
These findings illustrate the importance of not giving up, of continuing treatment, since remission rates get better over time.
The study also indicated that when teens participate in cognitive-behavioral therapy (CBT) while taking antidepressant medications they improve more quickly than those on either treatment alone, warning that single-faceted therapy may slow recovery by 2 or 3 months.
Kennard and her colleagues also point out that despite the positive finding that a majority of teenagers got better, a substantial number were still clinically depressed after 9 months of treatment.
More research, they say, is needed to understand how to best help these teenagers — and to see whether recovery can come more quickly for others. It will also be important to understand why some teens who initially improve see their depression symptoms return.
Dr. Kennard’s study was funded by the National Institute of Mental Health. Several researchers on the work have received funds from drug companies that market antidepressants.
