The holidays. I love ‘em, but not everybody does. Sadly, the incidence of suicide peaks at this time of year, especially among the elderly and the nation’s youth.

Here are the facts:

• Suicide ranks as the third leading cause of death for young people (ages 15-19 and 15-24); only accidents and homicides occur more frequently.

• Whereas suicides account for 1.3% of all deaths in the U.S. annually, they comprise 12.3% of all deaths among 15-24 year olds.

• Each year, there are approximately 10 suicides for every 100,000 youth.

• Approximately 11 young people between the ages of 15-24 die every day by suicide.

• Every 2 hours and 15 minutes, a person under the age of 25 completes suicide.

• Suicide rates among 15-24 year olds have more than doubled in the last 50 years. They have declined 25.6% since 1995.

• In the past 60 years, the suicide rate has quadrupled for boys 15 to 24 years old, and doubled for girls of the same age (CDC, 2002).

• Boys between the ages of 20 and 24 were 6.6 times more likely than girlss to complete suicide 2001. Boyss between 15 and 19 were 4.8 times more likely than girlss to complete suicide (2001 data).

• The boy to girl ratio of completed suicides was 5: 1 among 15-19 year olds and 6.9: 1 among 20-24 year olds (2000 data).

• Firearms are the most commonly used suicide method among kids, regardless of race or gender, accounting for almost three of five (57%) completed suicides.

• Access to and availability of firearms is a significant factor in the increase of youth suicide. Guns in the home are deadly to its occupants!

• For every completed suicide by a child, 100 to 200 attempts are made. In grades 9 through 12, 8.8% of students attempted suicide in the previous 12 months (6.2% male and 12.2% female). These numbers decrease from grades 9 (10.7%) to 12 (5.5%). A prior suicide attempt is an important risk factor for an eventual completion.

Source: U Life Line

Suicide.

Hear the word. Hear the comments.

They’re almost automatic.

“Such a selfish thing to do.”…”Don’t they realize what they’re doing to their families?”…”It’s the ultimate sin!”…and on…and on…and on…

As the mother of two young adults who have each attempted suicide in times of severe illness, I understand what compelled them, what prompted their actions. In it’s continuing series on mental illness, Canada’s Globe and Mail published a stark and honest account of one man’s struggle with suicidal thoughts that would not go away. An excerpt of the story written by Erin Anderssen appears below. To read the article in it’s entirety, follow the link.

“It is always there, like a song he can’t stop humming. It plays in the background when he graduates from law school. When he hears “not guilty” in court. When he cheers his son William to victory in the big hockey game or hugs his daughter Sarah for winning the Grade 3 spelling bee. He left Toronto because standing on the subway platform cranked the volume. He tried to shock it out of his brain. For a time, Star Trek episodes muffled it. Drugs, at best, only dull it.

In nearly every moment of his life, Peter O’Neill thinks about killing himself. Sometimes, he makes plans. He buys rope. He sets a date. Mostly though, he is trapped between wanting to die and trying to live, while the same scenes run on a loop in his mind: a noose dangling in shadow, or his body hanging from a rope.

It has slowly drowned out nearly everything else - his marriage, his career, his family.”

Read the rest of Peter’s story at globeandmail.com

Read more on the topic of suicide. The more we understand it, the better equipped we are to prevent it.

One in five families deals with serious mental illness.

Think about it.

If you’re not one of those families, you likely know one…

or two…

or three…

Canada’s Globe and Mail recently began a series on the mental health crisis in their country. It’s a crisis that mirrors a similar situation in the US, where depression, anxiety and bipolar disorder affect 13 to 22 percent of kids under 18.

The series, which I’ll reference and excerpt this week, covers topics like denial, disbelief, fear, rage,  and safety. You’ll learn that seventy percent of adult patients with mental illness can trace symptoms back to childhood; many “vividly recall the first frightening moment of infinite sadness or the anxiety that makes you want to strip off your own skin.”

This article, featuring the Bishop-Quigley family and their ten year-old daughter Erynn, and written by André Picard and Erin Anderssen, graphically illustrates the challenges families face when a child is mentally ill. Read the excerpt below, and thenfollow the link for the entire story, to discover the risks, the cost, the emotional toll and challenges millions of parents face every single day. After you’ve read the story, come back to me and leave your thoughts, ideas, concerns.

“On a Monday morning in September, 2006, during what they call their “darkest of days,” Heather Bishop and Sean Quigley committed their 10-year-old daughter, Erynn, to a psychiatric hospital.

The breaking point came after a Saturday shopping trip to a Sam’s Club in their hometown of London, Ont. When Ms. Bishop casually suggested to Erynn that she put a toy back on the shelf, the girl’s expression clouded, then she erupted into screams. There was no way to bring her back: Soon, she would be throwing punches. They had to get out of the store.

Mr. Quigley slung Erynn over his shoulder and Ms. Bishop abandoned the cart piled high with groceries, just as they had done dozens of time before. This was no simple tantrum. It was everyday life for the couple - trying to protect their daughter and everyone around her while she was consumed by rages she barely remembered afterward.”

For the entire stoey and to learn more about the Quigley family? Click here.

How much is too much?

How much is enough?

When  does support become crippling or enabling?

Does unconditional love mean giving without end?

Too much help…

Can it keep one from self-sufficiency, self reliance?

What if the giver feels used, the gift taken for granted?

Please share your thoughts and experiences.

A Loved One with Mental Illness…

If you have a family member or friend who’s been diagnosed with a mental illness, you’re probably wondering what you can do to help. Although new forms of therapy and medication make it possible for many individuals to lead full, independent lives, the support of family, friends and peers remains an essential element in the recovery process.

What Is a Mental Illness?

(Much of the following has been adapted from material originally published in NAMI publications.) A mental illness is a disease that causes mild to severe disturbances in thought and behavior that results in an inability to cope with life’s ordinary demands and routines. There are more than 200 classified forms of mental illness, all of which can be triggered by a variety of causes: a particular situation or series of events, an illness, genetics, biochemical imbalances, or any combination of those factors. Above all, it’s important to remember that there is help and hope for your loved one.

Encourage a Dialogue for Recovery

A key element in recovery is a productive, two-way communication between patient and doctor. Encouraging your friend or family member to foster this type of relationship with his or her team of healthcare professionals can make a big difference in helping your loved one to recover. There are also many other ways you can help people cope with their disorder, get treatment and work toward recovery. Here are some tips for supporting someone close to you.

Support Strategies

Accept your feelings. You may find yourself denying the warning signs, worrying what other people will think due to stigma, or wondering what caused your loved one to become ill. Accept that these feelings are normal and common among others in your situation.

Educate yourself. Learn about the diagnosis, symptoms and available treatments. Local Mental Health America affiliates, public libraries and the Internet are all good resources.

Be compassionate. Recognize that your family member or friend may feel scared and confused after receiving a diagnosis. Although some people are relieved to get diagnosed and actively seek treatment, it may feel devastating to others.

Motivate. Encourage your loved one to learn about what treatments and services will promote recovery. Recognize that finding the right treatment or services can take time, and can involve a process of trial and error.

Practice “active listening.” Listen to your family member or friend and express your understanding back to them. Acknowledge the feelings he or she is experiencing and don’t discount them, even if you believe them to be symptoms of the illness.

Coping with unusual behavior. Certain behaviors people with mental illnesses may exhibit can be disruptive- especially in public-and difficult to accept. The next time you and your loved one visit his or her mental health professional, discuss these behaviors together and develop a strategy for coping.

Understand the challenges of medication. Although treatments have improved tremendously in the past decade, they can also lead to side effects that can make your family member or friend want to stop taking the medicine. Encourage your loved one to speak immediately to his or her health care provider about any problems related to medications.

Understand that it’s not just about medication. Recovery from mental illness isn’t only a matter of “just staying on your medications.” Self-esteem, social support and a feeling of contributing to society are also essential elements of recovery and should be supported.

Offer practical help. Offer to drive or accompany your family member or friend to medical and other appointments. And, if he or she wants you to, discuss the treatment, side effects or other issues with the doctor and treatment team.

Give respect. Always respect the individual’s need for and right to privacy. People with mental illnesses have the same right to be treated with dignity and respect as anyone else.

Establish a support network. Seek out your own support from family and friends. Self-help and support groups also provide an opportunity to talk with other people who are experiencing the same types of issues you are. They can listen and offer valuable advice.

Take time out. Schedule time for yourself to help you keep things in perspective. Making sure you pursue your own interests will help you have more patience and compassion toward your loved one. You can only help others when you are physically and emotionally healthy yourself. Also, make sure any other family members aren’t feeling ignored, and set aside quality time to spend together.

Maintain hope. There is hope for recovery, and with treatment, many people who have mental illnesses return to productive and fulfilling lives.