Stress and the holidays seem to go hand in hand in both the media and real life. We put a lot of pressure on ourselves to create the perfect holiday season and then feel a lot of pressure to recover from the festivities. With that in mind, there’s no better time to share a great list of proven stress reducers that was put together by Texas Woman’s University.

And because we must read, see, hear or experience information a minimum of 17 times before we incorporate it into our lives, I’ll repeat and expound on each item once a week during 2009.

Yep–2009. End of this week! YIKES!

Here’s the list in it’s entirety:

1. Get up fifteen minutes earlier in the morning. The inevitable morning mishaps will be less stressful.
2. Prepare for the morning the evening before. Set the breakfast table, make lunches, put out the clothes you plan to wear, etc.
3. Don’t rely on your memory. Write down appointment times, when to pick up the laundry, when library books are due, etc.
4. Do nothing which, after being done, leads you to tell a lie.
5. Make duplicates of all keys. Bury a house key in a secret spot in the garden and carry a duplicate car key in your wallet, apart from your key ring.
6. Practice preventive maintenance. Your car, appliances, home, and relationships will be less likely to break down/fall apart “at the worst possible moment.”
7. Be prepared to wait. A paperback can make a wait in a post office line almost pleasant.
8. Procrastination is stressful. Whatever you want to do tomorrow, do today; whatever you want to do today, do it now.
9. Plan ahead. Don’t let the gas tank get below one-quarter full; keep a well-stocked “emergency shelf” of home staples; don’t wait until you’re down to your last bus token or postage stamp to buy more; etc.
10. Don’t put up with something that doesn’t work right. If your alarm clock, wallet, shoe laces, windshield wipers - whatever- are a constant aggravation, get them fixed or get new ones.
11. Allow 15 minutes of extra time to get to appointments. Plan to arrive at an airport one hour before domestic departures.
12. Eliminate (or restrict) the amount of caffeine in your diet.
13. Always set up contingency plans, “just in case.” (”If for some reason either of us is delayed, here’s what we’ll do. . .” kind of thing. Or, “If we get split up in the shopping center, here’s where we’ll meet.”)
14. Relax your standards. The world will not end if the grass doesn’t get mowed this weekend.
15. Pollyanna-Power! For every one thing that goes wrong, there are probably 10 or 50 or 100 blessings. Count ‘em!
16. Ask questions. Taking a few moments to repeat back directions, what someone expects of you, etc., can save hours. (The old “the hurrieder I go, the behinder I get,” idea.)
17. Say “No!” Saying “no” to extra projects, social activities, and invitations you know you don’t have the time or energy for takes practice, self-respect, and a belief that everyone, everyday, needs quiet time to relax and be alone.
18. Unplug your phone. Want to take a long bath, meditate, sleep, or read without interruption? Drum up the courage to temporarily disconnect. (The possibility of there being a terrible emergency in the next hour or so is almost nil.) Or use an answering machine.
19. Turn “needs” into preferences. Our basic physical needs translate into food, water, and keeping warm. Everything else is a preference. Don’t get attached to preferences.
20. Simplify, simplify, simplify. . .
21. Make friends with non-worriers. Nothing can get you into the habit of worrying faster than associating with chronic worrywarts.
22. Get up and stretch periodically if your job requires that you sit for extended periods.
23. Wear earplugs. If you need to find quiet at home, pop in some earplugs.
24. Get enough sleep. If necessary, use an alarm clock to remind you to go to bed.
25. Create order out of chaos. Organize your home and workspace so that you always know exactly where things are. Put things away where they belong and you won’t have to go through the stress of losing things.
26. When feeling stressed, most people tend to breathe short, shallow breaths. When you breathe like this, stale air is not expelled, oxidation of the tissues is incomplete, and muscle tension frequently results. Check your breathing throughout the day, and before, during, and after high-pressure situations. If you find your stomach muscles knotted and your breathing is shallow, relax all your muscles and take several deep, slow breaths.
27. Writing your thoughts and feelings down (in a journal, or on paper to be thrown away) can help you clarify things and can give you a renewed perspective
28. Try the following yoga technique whenever you feel the need to relax. Inhale deeply through your nose to the count of eight. Then, with lips puckered, exhale very slowly through your mouth to the count of 16, or for as long as you can. Concentrate on the long sighing sound and feel the tension dissolve. Repeat 10 times.
29. Inoculate yourself against a feared event. Example: before speaking in public, take time to go over every part of the experience in your mind. Imagine what you’ll wear, what the audience will look like, how you will present your talk, what the questions will be and how you will answer them, etc. Visualize the experience the way you would have it be. You’ll likely find that when the time comes to make the actual presentation, it will be “old hat” and much of your anxiety will have fled.
30. When the stress of having to get a job done gets in the way of getting the job done, diversion - a voluntary change in activity and/or environment - may be just what you need.
31. Talk it out. Discussing your problems with a trusted friend can help clear your mind of confusion so you can concentrate on problem solving.
32. One of the most obvious ways to avoid unnecessary stress is to select an environment (work, home, leisure) which is in line with your personal needs and desires. If you hate desk jobs, don’t accept a job which requires that you sit at a desk all day. If you hate to talk politics, don’t associate with people who love to talk politics, etc.
33. Learn to live one day at a time.
34. Every day, do something you really enjoy.
35. Add an ounce of love to everything you do.
36. Take a hot bath or shower (or a cool one in summertime) to relieve tension.
37. Do something for somebody else.
38. Focus on understanding rather than on being understood; on loving rather than on being loved.
39. Do something that will improve your appearance. Looking better can help you feel better.
40. Schedule a realistic day. Avoid the tendency to schedule back-to-back appointments; allow time between appointments for a breathing spell.
41. Become more flexible. Some things are worth not doing perfectly and some issues are fine to compromise upon.
42. Eliminate destructive self-talk: “I’m too old to. . .,” “I’m too fat to. . .,” etc.
43. Use your weekend time for a change of pace. If your work week is slow and patterned, make sure there is action and time for spontaneity built into your weekends. If your work week is fast-paced and full of people and deadlines, seek peace and solitude during your days off. Feel as if you aren’t accomplishing anything at work? Tackle a job on the weekend which you can finish to your satisfaction.
44. “Worry about the pennies and the dollars will take care of themselves.” That’s another way of saying: take care of the todays as best you can and the yesterdays and the tomorrows will take care of themselves.
45. Do one thing at a time. When you are with someone, be with that person and with no one or nothing else.
46. When you are busy with a project, concentrate on doing that project and forget about everything else you have to do.
47. Allow yourself time - everyday - for privacy, quiet, and introspection.
48. If an especially unpleasant task faces you, do it early in the day and get it over with, then the rest of your day will be free of anxiety.
49. Learn to delegate responsibility to capable others.
50. Don’t forget to take a lunch break. Try to get away from your desk or work area in body and mind, even if it’s just for 15 or 20 minutes.
51. Forget about counting to 10. Count to 1,000 before doing something or saying anything that could make matters worse.
52. Have a forgiving view of events and people. Accept the fact that we live in an imperfect world. Have an optimistic view of the world.

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The holidays. I love ‘em, but not everybody does. Sadly, the incidence of suicide peaks at this time of year, especially among the elderly and the nation’s youth.

Here are the facts:

• Suicide ranks as the third leading cause of death for young people (ages 15-19 and 15-24); only accidents and homicides occur more frequently.

• Whereas suicides account for 1.3% of all deaths in the U.S. annually, they comprise 12.3% of all deaths among 15-24 year olds.

• Each year, there are approximately 10 suicides for every 100,000 youth.

• Approximately 11 young people between the ages of 15-24 die every day by suicide.

• Every 2 hours and 15 minutes, a person under the age of 25 completes suicide.

• Suicide rates among 15-24 year olds have more than doubled in the last 50 years. They have declined 25.6% since 1995.

• In the past 60 years, the suicide rate has quadrupled for boys 15 to 24 years old, and doubled for girls of the same age (CDC, 2002).

• Boys between the ages of 20 and 24 were 6.6 times more likely than girlss to complete suicide 2001. Boyss between 15 and 19 were 4.8 times more likely than girlss to complete suicide (2001 data).

• The boy to girl ratio of completed suicides was 5: 1 among 15-19 year olds and 6.9: 1 among 20-24 year olds (2000 data).

• Firearms are the most commonly used suicide method among kids, regardless of race or gender, accounting for almost three of five (57%) completed suicides.

• Access to and availability of firearms is a significant factor in the increase of youth suicide. Guns in the home are deadly to its occupants!

• For every completed suicide by a child, 100 to 200 attempts are made. In grades 9 through 12, 8.8% of students attempted suicide in the previous 12 months (6.2% male and 12.2% female). These numbers decrease from grades 9 (10.7%) to 12 (5.5%). A prior suicide attempt is an important risk factor for an eventual completion.

Source: U Life Line

CUT: Teens and Self Injury

a documentary film by Wendy Schneider

“Urgent, searching, and profoundly moving, CUT issues a call to bring the problem of self-injury out of the shadows and reminds us that the first step towards healing is an honest acknowledgment of reality.”

Cut:Teens and Self Injury provides an intimate look at a problem that affects thousands of young people, their families and friends.  Resisting sensationalism and graphic images, the film draws its power from the voices of the teens themselves.

The film’s participants talk about the root causes of their cutting: Their experiences of alienation and inadequacy, their deep desire to feel, their sense of cutting as a part of the world they can control. They describe the resistance and denial that often greets their attempts to talk about their feelings and actions. Finally, they describe how they confronted and often overcame their urge to self-harm.

Interviews with parents and mental health professionals increase understanding of the problem and provide practical ways to address it.

CUT’s highlights include rock icon Shirley Manson’s testimony concerning her own cutting.

Fully aware of the extent of the problem, the film incorporates the perspectives of males and females, whites blacks and Asian Americans.

For CUT event information or to schedule a screening at your school or organization, please contact the director, Wendy Schneider, at :

Wendy@cutthemovie.com
P.O. Box 3253 Madison, WI 53704
608-239-5771

Self-Injurious Behavior

WHY?

Karen (Director, S.A.F.E. Alternatives®)

“Teachers are in a very unique position because often times they’re going to be the first ones who notice this behavior. Kids tend to hide it more at home… If it’s not the teacher that notices it, it might be a friend. Bottom line, you have to talk about this. Self Injury is speaking to a lot of things
that are wrong in our society.”

David

“A safe place-I’ve never had one. My home was a very fearful place. I could tell when violence was going to occur in my house just by what I’d done that day. I knew when my dad was gonna pick me up after work, I knew what was gonna happen. Living with that for 12 years is complicated especially when you have no one to talk to about it. And when I did it to myself, it was really at the point where I realized that I was at this point in time feeling either depressed or frustrated to the extent that it was just overwhelming to no end. Just to get through the night or the rest of the day or whatever the case, just to get your mind off of it, I think, it helped.”

Kaylee

“Cutting, for me, was the only control that I really thought I had actually had… but in the end you just wonder if that is actually your control because you can’t stop sometimes or you need it… it’s the only thing that will make you feel better-and you shouldn’t let something like that control you.”

Do these statements sound familiar?

Are YOU  A Cutter?

A Burner?

A Head Basher?

A Bone Breaker?

YOU ARE NOT ALONE!

Seek out a community that understands. Go to S.A.F.E. ALTERNATIVES® for more information.

Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder, OCD, is an anxiety disorder characterized by recurrent, unwanted thoughts (obsessions) and/or repetitive behaviors (compulsions). Repetitive behaviors like handwashing, counting, checking, or cleaning are often performed to either prevent obsessive thoughts or make them go away. Performing these “rituals,” however, provides only temporary relief, and not performing them dramatically increases anxiety.

After years of research, doctors and scientists have developed effective treatments for obsessive-compulsive disorder; and research is yielding new, improved therapies that can help most people with OCD and other anxiety disorders lead productive, fulfilling lives.

In a continuing series on mental illness,  Globe and Mail writer Siri Agrell introduces us to Alyse Schacter, a young woman learning to live with OCD and teaching those around her to understand and accept mental illness.

An excerpt from that article is included below. To read it in it’s entirety, follow the link at the end.

“She hears a voice in her head that insists she repeat certain movements and words, and has an irrational sense of urgency that causes her to stop in the middle of a sentence to make sure she hasn’t offended anyone.

But two years ago, she was preparing to hear a voice call her name to a roomful of applause. Alyse was honored by the Centre for Addiction and Mental Health Foundation’s Courage to Come Back Awards.

Alyse, despite her challenges, has made a mark on her community through her efforts to raise awareness about mental illness, and to convey to other kids that “you can still be normal even if you’re being weird.”

Click here to learn more about Alyse and OCD.